As the nation continues its march towards the 42nd general election, the approximately 2,000 Canadians who still use landlines report that they are absolutely thrilled to speak on behalf of all 35 million Canadians in the form of polling data.Dodo Stouffer (aged 96, of Sydney, Nova Scotia), whose opinion somehow represents literally tens of thousands of Canadians despite the fact that she’s never left her home province or seen a “talkie”, received calls from three separate polling companies in a single afternoon. “I told them all I was voting for Robert Stanfield,” she said, thereby accounting for a significant portion of the “Undecided” category in the latest data crunch.Whether old fashioned or just plain sentimental, the roughly 0.000006% of the population with home phones continues to shape the projected outcome of this election. Murph Mallory (57, of Ituna, Saskatchewan), who lost half a foot to frostbite after drinking “a shit load of beers,” says his favourite book is Penthouse, and keeps his home line because “cell phones are a plot by North Korea to give us brain cancer,” was overjoyed to learn that his support for the Prime Minister—expressed as an estimate of Canadian voting intentions—might ultimately influence how other Canadians cast their ballots in October, stating: “That’ll show those pussies.”Meanwhile Jack Harskins (34, of Edmonton, Alberta), says he was caught off guard when his phone rang: “To be honest, I forgot I even had the stupid thing and almost didn’t answer. I mean, other than telemarketers, who even calls landlines? Then I thought it might be my parents so I picked up. Turns out it was Nanos.” Harskins told the poll he’d probably be voting NDP, but later admitted to us that he doesn’t usually vote. “I dunno,” he said, “I kinda like the idea that by saying I’d vote for them people might think they’re making inroads out west or whatever. What a trip.”
Orange Crush ? Orange Crash !! Now that the electorate is becoming familiar with the calibre of candidates that the NDP are running there is a dramatic shift to the right.Another glorious victory for the CPC is in the woks.
Vote Gord Johns ! STOP HARPER !
Vote Harper ! Stop Niqabs !
Vote strategically..... We HAVE to get rid of Harper...
The tragedy would be Gordo getting in office and Mulcair not making it. We would be shooting ourselves in the foot with Gordo stumbling around Ottawa wondering where his cheque is.
Gordo's Beach House "Worst Experience in BC!"If you can't run your own house or your own business what makes you think you can run anything properly? Do everybody a favour and drop out of the race. It's a disgrace to our community!http://www.tripadvisor.ca/ShowUserReviews-g154942-d6578566-r312396622-Gordo_s_Beach_House-Tofino_Clayoquot_Sound_Vancouver_Island_British_Columbia.html#CHECK_RATES_CONT
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